Excerpts from The Serune Chronicle
by Ekuboryu
Summary: Newspaper articles (written as practice for class) regarding Lina and her friends' escapades
1. GIRL DESTROYS TOWN

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, I don't own the world, I don't own the Serune chronicles.  I just thought it might be fun, after a semester of journalism class, to write the newspaper articles for the events of Slayers. If this gets a good response I'll continue J  

A small town lies in ruins today thanks to the efforts of a teenager. 

The girl took the law into her own hands today in a brutal vigilante attack on a gang of known bandits who had been ravaging the small town. 

Lina Inverse, 14, was regarded as a hero until it was realized that she had not killed the bandits' pet dragon. Inverse and an ally, Gowry Gavriev, promised to dispose of the dragon as well for a fee. 

Unfortunately, a combination of the dragon's wrath and Inverse's peculiar method of extermination, a powerful dark spell, left the town as little more than a crater.

Town officials attempted to punish Inverse for the destruction but were unable to, having no weapons to take her into custody other than pitchforks. Inverse and Gavriev were running for their lives and unavailable for comment. 


	2. MAGICAL FIRE DAMAGES INN

MAGICAL FIGHT DAMAGES INN 

            Diners at the Sanoy Inn got a nasty surprise yesterday evening when a man wrapped  entirely in bandages attacked the establishment with an envoy of troll. 

            The party seemed to be after one Lina Inverse, who was among the diners, and her companion, Gowry Gabriev.  The bandaged man seemed to be members of a gang that Inverse and Gabriev have been credited with defeating. 

            A witness reports that the man offered to leave peacefully if Inverse surrendered all her treasure, but Inverse, according to the witness, refused.  

            Customers evacuated as Inverse and Gabriev battled the trolls, causing extensive damage to the inn's dining room.  Inverse reportedly finally ended the fight by tricking the man and trolls into retreating using a light spell, posed as a fireball.  

            Inverse does not know how the trolls and man tracked her, but assures worried town residents that she "Took care of them." And continued to say "I'm sorry I had to do it, but they were getting on my nerves."  

            The innkeeper reports that Inverse graciously and generously reimbursed her for the damage. He harbors no grudge against Inverse.  "Such a nice, honest girl. " was the only comment he had when asked about her.  

            Repairs will begin as soon as arrangements can be made.  

SHOPKEEPER POSESSED

In a bizarre story the owner of an occult store in a small town claims to have been possessed by a knife.  

The man reported drawing the knife to look it over for possible purchase then loosing control of his functions.  He maintains he cannot be sure because he dropped the knife after the incident and the seller, a red haired girl, picked it up an ran off immediately. 

"I can see why." He admitted in an interview "I must have been quite frightening.  I don't know where I would be without the concern and love of my wife helped to free me of the curse." 

The man's wife declined comment     


	3. BERSERKERS ATTACK TRAVELERS

BERSERKERS ATTACK TRAVELERS

            A local man reports seeing a party of berserkers randomly attack two fellow travelers this afternoon when he was traveling a few days * north of Atlas City.  He describes the victims as a teenage girl with red hair and a slightly older blonde boy. 

            "They seemed to be holding their own and I don't carry weapons. The boy had a sword and the girl was using magic." The man said, "So I didn't get involved.  The berserkers completely ignored me."  

            He alerted officials upon arriving in the nearest town, but when they set out to deal with the situation they found only a pile of berserkers' bodies.  

            "Those two must have been really something." The chief guard told us, " That was one d*** big pile of berserkers."

REZO MISSED 

            It's been at least a decade since the mysterious disappearance of one of the great men of the age, Rezo, the red priest.  

            For those who are too young to remember Rezo for anything but name, for decades he was ine of the premier practitioners of white magic.  He lived as a traveling holy man, performing miracles from town to town.  

            Rezo's story was a triumphant one.   He was blind since birth, so he learned white magic to try to cure himself.   Unfortunately, Rezo never found the spell to end his disability, but despite it he traveled the world and cured the blindness of others.  

Rezo preformed his last public miracle more than ten years ago. 

No news has reached the public of his death, but it is widely held that he could indeed have died.  Other theories include alien abduction, plastic surgery to disguise his identity, or that Rezo has been following around a man named Elvis.  A more down to earth idea is that he has taken to living as a hermit as holy men sometimes do, deciding to live a life of contemplation and learning.  

Whatever the explanation for his disappearance, Rezo is sorely missed.   

*translated as most of a story arc 

*** Oh come on I have journalistic integrity to uphold! 

 Tank you to Morothewolfgod and Oboe-wan for your corrections


	4. MYSTERIOUS FIGURE SCARES TRAVELERS

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE TROUBLES TRAVELERS 

            Travelers today reported a feeling of unease and worry mysterious figure loitering beside the Atlas City road. 

            "I was afraid he was a monster." Admitted a merchant from Zona "He had blue skin that looked like it had rocks in it, but he was shaped like a human."  The stranger is further described, by all witnesses as dressed in light brown, with a cloak, a hood, and a mask, and armed with a sword. 

            Travelers reported the figure to authorities, who sent a guard patrol out to deal with him.  When the guards approached the figure he told then he had no business with them.  They asked him to take of the mask and a guard reports that the stranger replied "So you came all this way to gawk at my face?" before casting flare arrow and scattering the party.       

            The spell let the guards loose track of the man, but they promise to send reinforcements, tomorrow if the man causes a problem again. 

SURVEY SHOWS EDUCATION COULD USE IMPROVEMENT 

            A startling study by the Serun Institute for Improving Education (SIIE) reports that pubic education on the continent seems to be failing. 

            The study consisted of random surveys of the population regarding things that should generally be common knowledge, such as how long ago the War of Dragons and Monsters was, whether dragons and thinking beings like ourselves, and, indeed, whether or not the race of ancient black dragons is extinct.  Less than a third of participants who lived outside of Serun could correctly identify a picture of Prince Philionelle. One young man in particular, a mercenary, didn't even know who Shabernigdo was. 

            The SIIE blames the problem on a number of factors. They include: School destruction by monsters of various descriptions, a lack of emphasis placed on subjects other than swordplay and magic, magic-related fires destroying books and other written material and, most importantly a high rate of dropouts.  

Part of the problem is young men and women quitting school to find jobs, but the more disturbing trend is that of teens who drop out of school to become adventurers or mercenaries. 

It is estimated that around ten percent of the continent's youth quit school to wander around the continent fighting evil, or becoming evil themselves. 

            "We need to keep kids in school." The society's chairman told us. "If you are going to wield the kind of power magic offers you have to do it with an informed mind.   A sorcerer who didn't understand completely the power of Shabernigdo could summon him for something petty and kill us all. That's the sort of risk you take letting kids drop out of school."  


	5. GIRL MISSING

GIRL MISSING 

            Today, Lina Inverse, 15 was reported missing by Mr. Gowery Gavriev.  

Gavriev claims to have lost track of Inverse yesterday during a fighting with a man named Zalgildos.  Also in the fight were an older man and "A great big weird wolf thing."

"Lina was fighting [Zalgildos] while I fought the other two." Gavriev explained "Then the two I was fighting ran off and Lina was gone." 

A kidnapping is suspected. 

If you have information or think you have seen Inverse or Zalgildos your local authorities would like to know.  Please report any information you have to the local guard. 

COUNCIL ARGUES CHIMERAS 

            Today a council of magicians meets to argue the ethics of chimera production. 

The subject has been a heated debate for some time in the magical community.  Chimeras are magically created creature combinations. They offer the possibility to create amazingly strong creatures with abilities far exciting those of normal animals, but many in the magical community feel it isn't right to change the makeup of any creature.   Particularly heated is the debate over chimeras using human subjects.  Although these can become the most intelligent and efficient monsters the process undoubtedly robs the subject of their very humanity. 

 Those who feel this unethical, however, are met with a lot of resistance. Chimera research is becoming very widespread. It is rumored that even Rezo, one of the wise men of the age, has created chimeras.  

FISH MEN REPORT DESCRIMINATION 

            In recent months more fish-men are reporting unfair treatment by humans.   A higher percentage of the aquatic creatures have been coming to land of late to try to make their way in the human world. 

            "It was almost impossible to get a job." Reports Noonsa, a young fish person who had to resort to getting a position as a henchman. "None of the human girls like me either." Noonsa adds. He was once the most handsome man in his tribe.  

            Experts believe that the discrimination could be caused by a number of factors.  Some fish people have inadequate human language skills, like Rahanamu, a young fish man who we attempted to interview but could only make glub noises. 

They blame Noonsa's girl problems on the differences between fish-person and human mating practices, such as Noonsa's tendency to kiss by putting his mouth around the human he is kissing's entire head.  Unfortunately for Noonsa and Rahanamu, their only course seems to be to attempt as best they can to adapt to human culture.

  
     


End file.
